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This one goes out to official RFS Weatherman Mikey “Weather Channel” McGillicuddy.

***NOTE - In order to maintain privacy, all friends of RFS have the same fictional last name.***

Just to give you a little background, here are the important parts of Mikey’s biography:

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- A talented wrestler, Mikey McGillicuddy has been known to outrun trains, leap tall buildings in a single bound, drink an entire carton of Pall Malls, and smoke two quarts of whiskey.

- Yes, you read that last part correctly.

- The name on his birth certificate isn’t Mikey McGillicuddy… it’s Badass Mofo McGillicuddy.

- The doctor and nurses who birthed him are still his indentured servants.

- Shortly before losing his virginity, he announced to his girlfriend that

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“We have a high pressure system moving through the South, resulting in a 50% chance of your mom walking in, a 95% chance of ecstasy… and hailstones the size of Wichita. Wait. Scratch that last part.”
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-In 1994, he defeated Willard Scott in a battle of wits by making Willard’s head explode during a scholarly explanation of osmotic dehydration, surface albedo, and relative humidity.

- He is responsible for over 30% of weather station maintenance in the United States.

- He is responsible for over 60% of weather station drunken maintenance errors in the United States.

- He is responsible for over 90% of weather station electronic malfunctions due to urination in the United States.

- Double all of those statistics if you want to know about his involvement in Central America.

- In order to better serve the community, in 2003 he had his genitalia modified.

- In case you’re curious, he now has a weather vane and two tornado warning sirens “down there”.

- In case you’re more curious, I’ve attached a picture of weather vane.

- The weather vane is not shown to scale.

- Mikey asked me personally to add that last item.

- And in case you’re even MORE curious, the warning sirens sound like the horn on the General Lee (see video below for a clip of what it sounds like when he pees):

- Due to his lack of control over when the sirens go off, he is no longer allowed to (1) volunteer in hospitals, (2) conduct diagnostic sleep exams, or (3) be a porn star.

- The only exception to the above was his role in The F**ks of Hazzard. I can’t go into detail… but stunt chicks were required.
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So - in honor of Mikey’s long-standing service and readership… he is presented with the inaugural RFS Shout-Out Trophy! Congratulations, Mikey!

As a reward, see below for video of the most jacked-up weatherman I’ve ever seen in my life. He was later fired for his drug habit. Gee. I wonder how they figured that out.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU TALKIN’ TO!?!?!?!”

What a coincidence - that’s how I answer my phone!

See the next feature on him for some good footage and ideas for next Halloween:

Merry Christmas, guys! Sorry I couldn’t make it to the party!

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This entry was posted on Saturday, December 16th, 2006 at 7:57 pm and is filed under Video, Humor (?), RFS Shout-Outs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.